The truth is one of the simplest things to understand and yet one of the hardest things to do. Especially when it comes to telling yourself the truth.
So much of our time is spent in cultivating lies that are not true that we convince our minds are true. The things that we learn from others since young childhood and beyond. The things we internalize and turn into truths by our acceptance of them. The things we tell ourselves about our own choices to make them acceptable. None of these are the actual truth. It can get to the point where we don’t even know that the lies are not the truth.
The things we learn from others – you are stupid, you are ugly, you aren’t valued, your feelings don’t matter, your needs aren’t important, and more are the things that others tell us by their words and actions or by what they do not say or do. These are the things taught to us that we take in and repeat to yourself until your brain believes they are the truth. They become your truth.
The irrational fears we repeat over and over until our brains believe them. The worst possible thing is going to happen. Reading other people’s minds and knowing how they think and feel about us – she thinks I am weird. The I can’t habit – I can’t get a job. Seeing the future – I am never going to be happy, I will always be alone. These are completely unproven, unknown thoughts that we turn into beliefs or truths.
The other side of the truth coin is the lies we tell ourselves for our own choices. If we drink every day, and we drink to get drunk every day, and we drink and have a hangover the next day and drink to manage the hangover, but we still work, we still manage our bills in some fashion, we still interact with others. We are not alcoholics we tell ourselves. We do not have a drinking problem we tell ourselves. We do not have an issue with alcohol we tell ourselves. It is a lie, but we have convinced ourselves that it is the truth.
The truth is hard many times. The truth that one is an alcoholic is a hard thing to come to terms with. It makes us feel embarrassed, ashamed, powerless, and sad. But it is a powerful step towards freedom, towards a healthier self, towards recovery. The truth of the things we have learned from others can change our lives – if we go from you are not valued to you have so much worth, if we go from your needs aren’t important to what you need matters and it’s okay for you to take care of those needs – we can begin to love ourselves, respect ourselves, believe in ourselves. If we change our irrational fear truths into just the thoughts that they are without proof – we can be set free from crippling fear and anxiety.
Is any of this truth telling easy? No. It is very difficult and a process that can take a long time, even years. But if you never start the journey, everything remains the same and nothing changes. However, these “truths” are affecting your life they will continue to do so without taking the first step towards changing them, replacing them.
One thought at a time, one fear at a time, one choice at a time.
Until next time,