Here we are another new year on the horizon. Another chance to start working on ourselves. Many people see it as a time to work on their oustide self by losing weight, getting in shape, changing their looks, but perhaps it is our inside self that we should focus on now.

Often times when clients come to see me for therapy they say I have thought about coming to counseling many times but was just too afraid to start. Starting therapy can be a very scary process. It can be overwhelming to think about opening up to a stranger about the most intimate details of your life and thoughts. It can be very scary to face our fears over possible judgment by the therapist.

Many times people feel that working on the outside is more important after all that is what other people see. The inside is hidden. Many times people can feel that they have the inside under control. They can convince themselves that the inside is not affecting them in any real way. In my experience this is never true. We cannot shut down unprocessed trauma it just finds new ways to take up residence in our lives.

When people are asked what are their resolutions or goals for the new year inevitably they relate to external things. How they look, their jobs, educational pursuits, finances, relationships are usually at the top of everyone’s lists. A lot more rarely do people talk about changing their relationship with themselves, their trauma, their negative thoughts and beliefs. That is often too personal and too challenging an idea for many people.

Unfortunately, most people also do not realize that not addressing the inside has everything to do with how the outside functions. If the inside is a mess, the outside will be also. The two are joined. The outside of you holds everything together on the inside. If the inside is not functioning in a healthy manner the outside will not either. And not just your body but everything outside will be in disarray.

This new year why not choose to work on the inside of yourself. On your trauma, your thoughts, your beliefs. Focus on the inside to affect the outside of yourself and your life. Make an appointment for therapy, go to that appointment, and stick with it even when it gets messy and hard. Keep your focus on making the inside of you happy and healthy.

There is no time like the present to start.

Until next time be well,

Deborah