Tag Archive | agreements

Always Do Your Best

When someone says do your best, what kind of images does that conjure up for you? For those in school, does it make you feel as if you have to make all A’s? At work, does it mean continual advancement in your job? In relationships, does it mean giving more than your partner? For parents, does it mean giving your kids everything they want? What does always do your best mean to you?

Miguel Ruiz in his book The Four Agreements states that the fourth agreement is “Always Do Your Best.” In his book, he talks about what that should mean to us and how to apply it to our lives. Always do your best is different for every person and it’s different every moment of every day.

Sometimes, your best may be to just wake up in the morning. Sometimes, your best may be to get out of bed. Sometimes, your best may be getting dressed. Sometimes, your best may be not wanting to harm yourself. Sometimes, your best may be thinking one positive thing about yourself or your life. Your best is whatever you can manage to do, think, or feel that day that may make your life even one atom better.

We constantly beat ourselves up for “not doing our best.” This best that others put on us or we have put on ourselves by making agreements that this is what the best is and only this. Anything else and we feel less than, we start to place blame on ourselves, we start to talk negative to ourselves, and we do not see anything else as our best. Because we believe the agreements we have made about what is actually our best.

If you have been staying in bed all day due to depression or illness and you get up out of the bed today – that is doing our best – in that moment and you should be proud of that, be positive with that, allow that to be okay. If you have been staying in your house every day due to anxiety and you decide to walk out onto your front porch or steps – that is doing your best – in that moment. Take possession of that, make agreement with that, be positive with that and allow that to be okay.

Always doing your best will change from moment to moment and situation to situation. If we can stop putting the past agreements we have made with others and ourselves onto every choice, we can start to feel better about our best that moment, start to be more positive about our best that moment, and those moments will happen more and more often until everything we do is always our best and we agree with that changing our lives for the better.

What is doing your best in this moment? Make that agreement, feel that positivity, change your beliefs, and step into always doing your best and being okay with that, whatever it may be.

Until next time I wish you peace,
Deborah

If you feel you need help accepting your best, managing your emotions, or coping with your life issues, make an appointment for a FREE initial consultation for counseling by calling 406-413-9904 or emailing mindfulmontanawellness@gmail.com

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The Four Agreements

1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.

The Four Agreements written by Miguel Ruiz is a wealth of life changing information. Miguel Ruiz was raised by his mother and grandfather in Mexico. His mother was a “healer” and his grandfather was a “shaman” in the Toltec Indian culture. Miguel had a life altering car crash that moved his path back towards his cultural heritage and out of that came this wonderful book.

Ruiz writes that from the time we are born we are making agreements. Agreements with our parents for what we learn, what we eat, how we live, and about who we are. We make agreements with everyone we come into contact with through our lives – people, social media, television, music, etc.. Some of these agreements can be positive and uplifting such as “you are smart, you are loved, you can succeed.” Some, however, can be negative such as “you are stupid, you can not succeed, you are worthless.” It is in these agreements that we form all the things we believe about ourselves. Over years and years of making these agreements, it becomes very difficult to break them.

It is because of these agreements that we judge ourselves, find ourselves guilty and punish ourselves. We abuse ourselves more than anyone else could ever abuse us. If we abuse ourselves very badly, we can tolerate someone who beats us up, humiliates us, and treats us like dirt. Why? Because in our agreements and beliefs we think “I deserve it. This person is doing me a favor by being with me. I’m not worthy of love and respect. I’m not good enough.” We have the need to be accepted and loved by others, but we cannot accept and love ourselves.

There are thousands of agreements we have made with ourselves, with God, with society, with our parents, with our families, with our friends, but the most important agreements are those we make with ourselves because they define our beliefs about who we are, what we feel, what we believe, and how we behave. One agreement is easy to break, but thousands are very difficult.

In order to find joy and fulfillment in life, we must find the courage to break these agreements that are fear-based and claim our personal power. If you adopt these four agreements and have a very strong will, you can begin to live your life with these agreements creating personal power to break all other agreements and transform your life.

Click the link in the right hand column to read more about this book and start on the path to transforming your life. I incorporate this book into many of my therapy sessions. If you think you could benefit from counseling with this as part of the process, please contact me to set up an appointment.

Until next time, I wish you peace…

Deborah